thought

We cannot have a drive-thru relationship with God and expect to behold His glory.

~Beth Moore, Believing God

I feel like this is what my relationship with Him has been like lately.

home, part 1

Home has been a huge ongoing theme for our lives lately! Even our church is doing a sermon series on "Home". Between moving from our home to making Bella feel like our temporary home is a home and to what this post is about, homebirth, the word "home" is going to be used a lot!

I just wanted to share a bit on our experience with homebirth. I'm not going to include our birth story...if anyone is interested, please leave a comment, and I'll email it to you. I just wanted to keep this simple.

When we became pregnant, I knew I wanted to attempt a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean). The first time around, I felt like we did everything we could do to prepare for a natural birth. Circumstances occurred and I ended up with a c-section. I could write a whole post on my feelings towards this, but I'll spare you! So, with VBAC on our minds, I set out to find a doctor/midwife who was supportive. Boy, was that an adventure! My doctor who delivered Bella was extremely VBAC friendly. However, the hospital she worked for was not friendly to her. Again, I won't expand on that...except to say, I didn't want to deliver there again (even though it is probably one of the most natural friendly hospitals in our area).

I talked to a local doula/birthing instructor and she was an amazing resource. We still felt most comfortable delivering at a hospital. So we toured one hospital that had a group of doctors/midwives who were pro-VBAC. I was very turned off by this hospital. Feeling defeated, I tried a doctor at another hospital. We went to see her and she told me what I can only call lies...she said, "1. Your 2nd baby is always larger than your first. 2. If we see the baby is big, we're going HAVE to do a c-section." Again, I felt defeated. And we went back to the drawing board.

Homebirth. Really? If you would've told me a year ago, I would have considered a homebirth, I would've told you that you are crazy! I mean, I am very supportive of mamas who choose this option. I have a dear friend who had one, but me, well, I'm a little more conventional...or maybe, I'm not.

We met with a homebirth midwife and she was completely confident of VBAC. She didn't share the views of the medical profession, that once you have a c-section, you always have a c-section. She was positive, she was confident, she was experienced. We went home that night and chatted about it. I talked with my dear friend who had a homebirth, and we made our decision!

And that decision changed my life forever. Labor and birth felt completely natural in our home. I was able to labor anyway I needed to. Everyone felt comfortable. I was able to see Bella. And when it came time to actually deliver Genevieve, it was the most amazing experience of my life. It's so hard to put into words what it's like to see a life come from you. And to know that I worked so hard, and was able to climb the mountain and accomplish something I didn't know was possible! All the while, everyone there knew I could do it. I was surrounded with hope, love, strength, and faith, not only from the Lord but also from my amazing husband, wonderful doula, and awesome midwife. I am forever changed!!!

All I can say to those who are considering their birth options is to please educate yourselves. Just because your doctor says "this is best", don't be afraid to question them. Explore what's out there. You most likely will be surprised what you find. This is YOUR BIRTH, YOUR LIFE, and YOUR CHILD'S LIFE. Not theirs.

A Different Kind of Christmas Story

crazy

life is crazy right now...i have so many things flowing through my mind and soul and would love to blog about them. but i need to pack, and i need to love on my girls, and i need to pack, and right now i need to get a crying little girl.

instead, i'll share a song that makes me love our Lord even more.

see below

beautiful things

clever

spirit

Last night I had an epiphany thanks to a new book I'm reading. After having a rough afternoon with 2 kiddos and an exhausted mom, I got a little time to read before bed. My midwife had recommended the book Whole Child, Whole Parent. I reached a chapter on "Spirit" and the light turned on for me in relation to parenting. We focus so much on taking care of our children, their body and their mind. We work hard to feed them the right foods, make sure they get enough exercise, regularly take them to the doctor to make sure they're developing well. For their minds, we read to them, ask them to count, name colors, etc.

But what about their spirit? I was convicted by this! Do I help my girls nurture their spirit? When their hearts need love and encouragement, do I stop what I'm doing and feed their souls? I know that as a mom, I can't do everything and I also need to care for my own soul. But this has been a huge paradigm shift for me. I want my daughters to have spirits that are full of joy and love and Christ, and they need me to be their vessels. Big responsibility? Yes! But to whom much is given, much is required! Thank God for the gift of the Holy Spirit!!!! Because as a mom, some days it feels like it's the only thing that gets me through.

gotta watch

from the inside out

the things kids say

Life is full of craziness right now, and amidst the long nights, missing my husband, and helping a toddler understand the change that has occurred in her life...I like to take time to reflect on the fun things of being a mommy!

Like today, I gave Bella some blueberry yogurt. She kept pointing at it and saying "boo-be" and then I realized she was actually saying "blueberry", not where Genevieve likes to be all the time! :)

Thanks my sweet Bells for making me laugh today!