Monday, July 21, 2008

celebrate and mourn

Well, we're nearing the day of meeting our precious little one. Gosh, it's hard to believe! I had a shower yesterday and it was such a blessing and such a grateful time for me. However, I came home with an unusual emptiness that I could not comprehend until this morning...though I'm sure it's still processing in my head even as I write.

At this amazing time in my life, I am celebrating this child within me. It stings though to think of 2 other precious children that were ours. We didn't celebrate them, we mourned them. We never had the opportunity to know learn what they loved, to laugh at their sweet smiles. I had heard about unresolved grief and guilt that occurs in pregnancy after previous losses. I never could understand feeling guilty until now. Why weren't these 2 children celebrated like the one that is moving and kicking within me now? It's not fair. It's not. They, too, were God's creation, fearfully and wonderfully made.

Oh, Lord, give me comfort that You are celebrating these precious little ones that went so quickly to be with you. They deserve to be loved and adored and delighted in. And I know that You delight in every one of your creations.

So, to Munchkin and Sweet Pea, I love you, I celebrate you and know someday we will meet. In the meantime, watch out for your little sibling and tell them to be good to Momma and Papa!

Friday, July 18, 2008

A little laugh

This always cracks me up...this is dedicated to Ashley on her birthday, after her rough morning!

Friday, July 11, 2008


Just needed to watch this again!

been awhile

Yeah, it's been awhile since I've written. I don't know exactly why...could be laziness, could be not wanting to sit in front of the computer longer than I need to, or it could be the fear I had in sharing my pregnancy wondering if I say it out loud, we'll lose it. Well, whatever it was, it's over, and I'm back.

Life is good, God is good.

My soul has been in need of some refreshing. Do you ever feel that way? To just walk through the day-to-day living without the bigger purpose pulsating through your veins. Well, I've been there.

We visited my old beloved church this past weekend on our way back from Tennessee. And I needed to be there, and the Lord spoke to me. Rev. Shane's sermon was about returning to God with passion and fervor. And walking this mountain together. So I told Jason that it was time for me to return, and return whole-heartedly and whole-souledly (I know, I made that word up) to my Lord.

So this week, I pulled out my old Beth Moore bible study I hadn't yet finished. It's wonderful! Beth has an amazing way of connecting scripture and making it fully alive...well, I guess the Lord does that, but Beth is one amazing vessel. I can't say I always want to set aside 30 minutes (yeah, that's sad, isn't it?) to my quiet time. But after it, my heart and soul are changed, and I wonder how could I have missed that?!

So, to the Lord, I say, "Thank you for loving despite my selfishness."

God is Good All the Time.
We only have a couple months left before we meet our baby boy/girl.
I am married to the most amazing husband a girl could ask for.
And I am truly blessed.
Oh, and we have the cutest and craziest dog ever!