Monday, August 17, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
mistakes
(From God Calling by A.J. Russell)
I AM your Shield. No buffets of the world can harm you. Feel that between you and all scorn and indignity is a strong shield. Practice feeling this until nothing has the power to spoil the inward peace. Then indeed a marvellous victory shall be won.
You wonder sometimes why you are permitted to make mistakes in your choice when you sought so truly to do My Will in the matter.
To that I say it was no mistake ... All your life lessons cannot be learned without difficulty, and this was needed to teach you a lesson. Not to him who walks on, with no obstacles in his way, but to him that overcometh is the promise given.
So to attain peace quickly in your surroundings, as well as in your hearts, learn your lesson quickly. And the overcoming is never the overcoming of the one who troubled you, but the overcoming of the weaknesses and wrong in your own nature, aroused by such a one.
No lower standard than My Standard shall be yours. "Be ye therefore perfect even as your Father in Heaven is perfect."
I AM your Shield. No buffets of the world can harm you. Feel that between you and all scorn and indignity is a strong shield. Practice feeling this until nothing has the power to spoil the inward peace. Then indeed a marvellous victory shall be won.
You wonder sometimes why you are permitted to make mistakes in your choice when you sought so truly to do My Will in the matter.
To that I say it was no mistake ... All your life lessons cannot be learned without difficulty, and this was needed to teach you a lesson. Not to him who walks on, with no obstacles in his way, but to him that overcometh is the promise given.
So to attain peace quickly in your surroundings, as well as in your hearts, learn your lesson quickly. And the overcoming is never the overcoming of the one who troubled you, but the overcoming of the weaknesses and wrong in your own nature, aroused by such a one.
No lower standard than My Standard shall be yours. "Be ye therefore perfect even as your Father in Heaven is perfect."
Monday, July 27, 2009
not settling
This is a new kind of post for me...it's about marriage, and children, and keeping your soul fed.
Almost a year ago, our lives changed...in an amazing way, yet also a challenging way. Sure, everyone told us nothing would ever be the same once we had kids. Of course, we nodded in agreement, but not in complete understanding. Our lives as individuals and as a couple have changed drastically. Granted, I would never trade what we have...but admittedly, there are days that I miss our life from before. When we could be completely selfish, when we could leave the house without having to check for a paci, for a diaper, for a toy, for a hairbow, for.... When we could plan the day without a naptime. When we could clean the house so...easily! When the house wouldn't seem completely disorganized ALL THE TIME. When I could have a cup of coffee and not have to worry if it would affect my little one. Ok...you get the point. Life has changed. (Please give me grace and know that having our daughter has been one of the best things that have ever happened to us...I was nursing her just an hour ago and looking down at her and thinking...she is heaven. This post is coming from the heart and I'm sharing one of the challenges of parenthood.)
This weekend Jason and I were discussing our marriage and how it has changed. I was sharing with him how the "newness" feels gone and I'm sad about it. I asked him what he thought has been the biggest change in our marriage, and he replied, "having Bella." Of course, she's changed our lives...so I pondered, "Well, what can we do to bring back a little bit of us?"
Here's my idea...
We are going to have one night each week set aside for ourselves. For example, this week, I get one glorious night to myself...I already have a list of what I wanna do...take a photography class, go fabric shopping, work on my sewing, take a pilates class, go to a coffee shop and read (oh, how I miss that!), go to the mall and actually be able to try clothes on. And the next week, Jason gets a night to himself which I'm sure will consist of different activities than mine. :)
I think this may just help our souls and our marriage, and in turn our parenting for our precious girl. Bring on Wednesday!!!
Almost a year ago, our lives changed...in an amazing way, yet also a challenging way. Sure, everyone told us nothing would ever be the same once we had kids. Of course, we nodded in agreement, but not in complete understanding. Our lives as individuals and as a couple have changed drastically. Granted, I would never trade what we have...but admittedly, there are days that I miss our life from before. When we could be completely selfish, when we could leave the house without having to check for a paci, for a diaper, for a toy, for a hairbow, for.... When we could plan the day without a naptime. When we could clean the house so...easily! When the house wouldn't seem completely disorganized ALL THE TIME. When I could have a cup of coffee and not have to worry if it would affect my little one. Ok...you get the point. Life has changed. (Please give me grace and know that having our daughter has been one of the best things that have ever happened to us...I was nursing her just an hour ago and looking down at her and thinking...she is heaven. This post is coming from the heart and I'm sharing one of the challenges of parenthood.)
This weekend Jason and I were discussing our marriage and how it has changed. I was sharing with him how the "newness" feels gone and I'm sad about it. I asked him what he thought has been the biggest change in our marriage, and he replied, "having Bella." Of course, she's changed our lives...so I pondered, "Well, what can we do to bring back a little bit of us?"
Here's my idea...
We are going to have one night each week set aside for ourselves. For example, this week, I get one glorious night to myself...I already have a list of what I wanna do...take a photography class, go fabric shopping, work on my sewing, take a pilates class, go to a coffee shop and read (oh, how I miss that!), go to the mall and actually be able to try clothes on. And the next week, Jason gets a night to himself which I'm sure will consist of different activities than mine. :)
I think this may just help our souls and our marriage, and in turn our parenting for our precious girl. Bring on Wednesday!!!
Saturday, July 4, 2009
storm
I have been reading The Shack, which is an amazing book. It has touched me in ways that a book never has. And this song reminds me of the book and the Lord who is with us through the storms of life.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
possibly not pc
Since hearing the news of Dr. Tiller's murder, my heart has been conflicted. When Jason came home from work last night, he said he felt the same way. I am so sad to know that someone decided to end the life of another human being. Ironic, that I'm sad the man who chose to end the lives of 60,000 babies had his life taken from him. Definitely not much choice in that.
To say I was shocked to hear that Dr. Tiller attended church was an understatement. However, I am happy he did and I pray his heart and soul were touched by the Lord. I hope he is in heaven, and right now the Lord is showing him how wonderfully and masterfully He created human life. I will never in this lifetime understand how someone can think it's ok to end a life, to stop a beating heart for any reason. Nonetheless, the Lord is in control, and I am not. I am thankful for that.
May the Lord bless and comfort Dr. Tiller's family and friends at this devastating time.
May the Lord bless and keep safe the many babies to come.
Life is precious. Any life.
To say I was shocked to hear that Dr. Tiller attended church was an understatement. However, I am happy he did and I pray his heart and soul were touched by the Lord. I hope he is in heaven, and right now the Lord is showing him how wonderfully and masterfully He created human life. I will never in this lifetime understand how someone can think it's ok to end a life, to stop a beating heart for any reason. Nonetheless, the Lord is in control, and I am not. I am thankful for that.
May the Lord bless and comfort Dr. Tiller's family and friends at this devastating time.
May the Lord bless and keep safe the many babies to come.
Life is precious. Any life.
Monday, June 1, 2009
hug and a kiss
I wish everyone could get a hug and a kiss everyday. I think we'd have a happier world if that happened. And on a lot of Sundays, I get that at church. And I absolutely love it.
When you enter the foyer at church (I guess it's technically a narthex as I learned in my years of doing engineering work on churches...yes I do remember some things from those years) a sweet, older gentleman is there to greet you. As you approach him, he stretches out his hands to hug you. And then to add to the already sweet gesture, he gives you a kiss on the cheek. In that tiny little moment, I feel loved and I feel like my heart is getting a huge hug from Jesus. And that's good stuff.
No words, just a hug and a kiss. Simply. Love. Exactly what church should be.
When you enter the foyer at church (I guess it's technically a narthex as I learned in my years of doing engineering work on churches...yes I do remember some things from those years) a sweet, older gentleman is there to greet you. As you approach him, he stretches out his hands to hug you. And then to add to the already sweet gesture, he gives you a kiss on the cheek. In that tiny little moment, I feel loved and I feel like my heart is getting a huge hug from Jesus. And that's good stuff.
No words, just a hug and a kiss. Simply. Love. Exactly what church should be.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
2nd Mother's Day
I write this post with a joyful, yet heavy heart. Recently my mom mentioned I would be celebrating my first Mother's Day as a Mom. I agreed, but silently I dissented. Actually it's my second. I know many people will never know that I am a mom of 3...2 in heaven, 1 on earth. Sure, some may disagree that those little ones I carried for a short time are considered children. And to those, I would gracefully share the pain I felt (we felt) when they were taken away. I don't think I would hurt as much over them if they were just "tissue". These 2 crosses hang in our entry way, and they are always a reminder of the precious children we loved and lost.
Praise God, I don't hurt the way I did. He has graciously brought me to a place of healing and amazing joy. Our babies are safe in heaven, playing with Jesus. Can you get any better? And I can see how the Lord guided me on a path of growing faith, trust, joy, love, and hope. A sweet lady who is a social worker for Hospice shared with me how grief never goes away...it changes, it transforms, it becomes part of your being. And I can see that in my life. Thankfully the Lord has turned my mourning into dancing. Our daughter is an amazing blessing.
I know too that for many women, Mother's Day is a tough day. Whether it be the loss of their mother, a child, or difficulty in becoming pregnant, I pray the Lord is abundantly present with them on this day. I truly believe a woman's (even more, a girl's) heart encompasses the hopes and desires of a mother...and to all those women who want nothing more than to have a child to hold, I celebrate you on Mother's Day. I pray the Lord quickly answers your prayers.
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