I'm a little late on updating our Bermuda trip...mostly because I wanted a little break. One thing has happened after another and I've reached a time where I feel like I can finally breathe.
We officially said "no" to the Bermuda option last Friday. The time we were there proved one thing to me--God did not want us there. I don't understand why, but I've learned it's not my job to desire comprehensive understanding. I firmly believe in a greater plan, and this opportunity did not make the cut.
Bermuda is an amazing place to visit, not a place personally I would like to live
I saw the most amazing beaches I have ever seen. Coral green water, and salmon pink sand...oh I miss it! Wonderful green vegetation, hidden flowers, manicured buildings. Awesome. Is Bermuda a good place to run/walk...defintely no. Since this is a favorite pasttime for Jason and me, it would definitely be hard to adjust to their very narrow streets lacking sidewalks. You have mopeds and vans with horrible exhaust racing past you on the winding streets. Not my idea of a relaxing place to walk. However, the beaches are amazing places to walk, I must say. So coupled with drinking unfiltered rain water, the presence of rats and large frogs (yeah, I abhor frogs...I know I'm weird), concerns about their health care system, and the outrageous living costs, I must say Kansas looks better and better.
I experienced racism, something I've never felt before
This was a big sign, I felt, that this is not the place for us. I had noticed early on in the week that I would say hello to some people and they would just stare at me. However, that was nothing compared to the incident that happened the last full day of our trip. I was out exploring the island and I walked back to Jason's office to meet him for lunch. As I was approaching Seaboard's office, I greeted a lady, and she looked at me and said, "F***ing White Trash!" Hmm...I think she must have gotten kicked off the Bermuda welcoming committee and she decided to take it out on me. To say I was hurt and confused is an understatement. I know I'm a little delicate as of late, but regardless, to be told these words would not make many want to pack up all their possessions and move thousands of miles away from the comforts of home.
However, I did not walk away from this experience without absorbing something. Racism is absolutely disgusting and to think that minorities in this country encounter this on a day-to-day basis outrages me. There is never a time or a place for racism, EVER. This hurt a lot to have a complete stranger utter such disparaging words to me. Yeah, I know I'm not white trash (white trash does not exist by the way...unless you're throwing away white paper), but still to hear someone with such anger unleash on me, definitely hurt my heart. I think what hurt the most is that this lady is holding such pain in her soul and she wants someone else to feel her pain. I have to remind myself not to hate her, but to pray for her that she may know joy and love, not anger and hatred.
So we're moving on...I can't say I know why we were presented with this opportunity to only close the door on it. But I know we can be assured we made the right decision.
Ok, God...what's next???