heartwarming

Check out this wonderful article with videos of dogs welcoming their soldiers home. Melts my heart.

what do you do when

This blog has definitely been neglected. Maybe because it's hard for me nowadays to sit down and do one task for more than 10 minutes before thinking, "Wow, I better get a lot done...it's naptime, you know!" However, I thought yesterday on our afternoon walk, I stumbled across an epiphany. I'm still trying to absorb it.

What do you do when you accomplish your dreams? Where do you go from there?

That's it. As I was walking, I pondered how before when I was working I really enjoyed my life. (Bear with me, my life doesn't get any better than it is now.) I realized I smiled more, laughed more. And this was all while trying to figure out when and how my dreams would come true.

Well, first there is, meet the love of your life. Check
Then, have a beautiful wedding. Check
Then, enjoy living with the one you love. Check
Then, build a house. Check
Then, have a child. Check

There you go...those are the things I dreamed of for so long. Of course, my dreams used to entail getting my professional license...well, that's what I told possible employers anyway. Now, not so much. Not to say I'll never go back to engineering. But for the first time in my life, I know without equivocation I am doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. I am a mama and I love it. I love to spend the day with my baby girl. I love to keep the house feeling like a home. I love to clean (yes, I actually do...most days, anyway). I love to cook meals for my husband who actually enjoys eating them. I love it all.

However, what I can't make sense of is, what do I dream next? I realize that dreams are a huge thing I'm missing from my life currently. The place where you are content, but you're still reaching for something. It makes you get out of bed just thinking about it.

And at the moment, I have no idea what my dreams are.

New Again

wow...this means even more to me now that I'm a mom.

9-11

8 years ago...God, please be with those friends and family of those who have lost their lives that day. May they know that their loved ones' lives meant something in this world.

I heard a story from a wife of one of those lost in the tragedy of 9-11. She commented how she would get so frustrated with her husband for leaving out his dirty socks. And now, all she wishes she could see lying on the floor were his dirty socks. I think about that when Jason does something that I'm not overly thrilled with. And I think wow, I'm so blessed to see his tennis shoes in the middle of the living room or the dirty dish he left in the sink instead of the dishwasher. He is so much more important to me than that silly dish. Don't allow the little things detract from the true love you have.

God, please bless America.

love

4 years ago today, I married my best friend and the one who I am so privileged to walk this journey of life with. I simply cannot believe it has been 4 whole years! It has been an amazing ride with my prince...mostly good times, a few bad times, but all times full of God's love, mercy and grace.

Some memories of our journey:

Year #1:

• An amazing wedding, followed by a surprise honeymoon (for me anyway...it was all planned by Jason) to California
• A lovely trip to Canada with my family interrupted by a devastating flood at my parents' house
• Building our first home

Year #2:

• Running our first 1/2 marathon together
• 2 pregnancies, followed by 2 miscarriages

Year #3

• A wonderful pregnancy

Year #4

• The introduction to a little girl who changed our lives

Alright, so I left out a whole lot of steps along the way, but what I can say is that marriage has forever changed me. It has not always been easy, but it has always been worth it. I know these past four years have been amazing, but I also truly believe our best years are ahead as we learn to love one another in Christ's love, not just human love.

Jason, you are my love and my best friend, and I pray our next year will be full of laughter, inspiring conversations, a little alone time, and an even stronger bond glued together by our Lord.

a little message from Rich Mullins

a little funny for Friday

mistakes

(From God Calling by A.J. Russell)

I AM your Shield. No buffets of the world can harm you. Feel that between you and all scorn and indignity is a strong shield. Practice feeling this until nothing has the power to spoil the inward peace. Then indeed a marvellous victory shall be won.

You wonder sometimes why you are permitted to make mistakes in your choice when you sought so truly to do My Will in the matter.

To that I say it was no mistake ... All your life lessons cannot be learned without difficulty, and this was needed to teach you a lesson. Not to him who walks on, with no obstacles in his way, but to him that overcometh is the promise given.

So to attain peace quickly in your surroundings, as well as in your hearts, learn your lesson quickly. And the overcoming is never the overcoming of the one who troubled you, but the overcoming of the weaknesses and wrong in your own nature, aroused by such a one.

No lower standard than My Standard shall be yours. "Be ye therefore perfect even as your Father in Heaven is perfect."

not settling

This is a new kind of post for me...it's about marriage, and children, and keeping your soul fed.

Almost a year ago, our lives changed...in an amazing way, yet also a challenging way. Sure, everyone told us nothing would ever be the same once we had kids. Of course, we nodded in agreement, but not in complete understanding. Our lives as individuals and as a couple have changed drastically. Granted, I would never trade what we have...but admittedly, there are days that I miss our life from before. When we could be completely selfish, when we could leave the house without having to check for a paci, for a diaper, for a toy, for a hairbow, for.... When we could plan the day without a naptime. When we could clean the house so...easily! When the house wouldn't seem completely disorganized ALL THE TIME. When I could have a cup of coffee and not have to worry if it would affect my little one. Ok...you get the point. Life has changed. (Please give me grace and know that having our daughter has been one of the best things that have ever happened to us...I was nursing her just an hour ago and looking down at her and thinking...she is heaven. This post is coming from the heart and I'm sharing one of the challenges of parenthood.)

This weekend Jason and I were discussing our marriage and how it has changed. I was sharing with him how the "newness" feels gone and I'm sad about it. I asked him what he thought has been the biggest change in our marriage, and he replied, "having Bella." Of course, she's changed our lives...so I pondered, "Well, what can we do to bring back a little bit of us?"

Here's my idea...

We are going to have one night each week set aside for ourselves. For example, this week, I get one glorious night to myself...I already have a list of what I wanna do...take a photography class, go fabric shopping, work on my sewing, take a pilates class, go to a coffee shop and read (oh, how I miss that!), go to the mall and actually be able to try clothes on. And the next week, Jason gets a night to himself which I'm sure will consist of different activities than mine. :)

I think this may just help our souls and our marriage, and in turn our parenting for our precious girl. Bring on Wednesday!!!

storm

I have been reading The Shack, which is an amazing book. It has touched me in ways that a book never has. And this song reminds me of the book and the Lord who is with us through the storms of life.