Wednesday, March 9, 2011

a new view on life

This is Lucy. Our first baby...pre-Bella, pre-Geni. Our very first sweet girl. And we adore this doggy. She brings so much life and joy to our family and home. We found out our precious Lucy has something called lymphosarcoma...a cancer of the lymph nodes. She's 3. There is no cure. We have the option of trying chemo or just giving her steroids to make her comfortable. Chemo is not a great option, so we've chosen to give her steroids to hopefully make her feel as well as she can.

The prognosis is 4 weeks to 8 months.

I don't like it.

It breaks my heart to look at this sweet dog and know there is a deadly disease taking over her once strong body. She's going to die. And then I realize we're all going to die. There's something different about Lucy and the rest of us...I guess we all feel like we have awhile before we go. Lucy doesn't. Don't get me wrong, I'm praying for a miracle everyday. The way we're living with Lucy now is different. We don't take the simple things for granted. We love on her every opportunity we get. We go outside as much as we can.

I step back and think, "Why don't we ALL live this way?" I read in Job yesterday, "Life is but a breath."

Live EVERY DAY to its fullest. One time I was in a coffee shop and I overheard a man saying goodbye to his friend and he said, "Tom, have the best day of your life." Pretty cool, huh? I like it.

I hope to give Lucy the best days of her life. I am thankful we know about her future. I rejoice in my belief that she'll be in heaven. I just wish we had a little more time to take her on runs and to the lake, and just see her happy. I will choose to celebrate these days instead of mourning. I'll be sad later (I am still working on this, as I'm crying thinking about her not growing up with the girls.)

Ok...forgive the blubbering....not much eloquence in this post.

I need to go hug a dog.


Abbie said...

Brandy my heart breaks for you guys. We had a dog growing up, my parents "first" baby. He had cancer, my parents spent so much money trying to fix it and in the end wished they had picked the alternative. Love on sweet Lucy, take lots of pictures and treasure the memories....they will always be there.

brandy said...

Thanks, Abbie. We have felt good about the decision, but it breaks my heart to see Lucy not herself. I'm just praying for good days for her.