Monday, July 21, 2008

celebrate and mourn

Well, we're nearing the day of meeting our precious little one. Gosh, it's hard to believe! I had a shower yesterday and it was such a blessing and such a grateful time for me. However, I came home with an unusual emptiness that I could not comprehend until this morning...though I'm sure it's still processing in my head even as I write.

At this amazing time in my life, I am celebrating this child within me. It stings though to think of 2 other precious children that were ours. We didn't celebrate them, we mourned them. We never had the opportunity to know learn what they loved, to laugh at their sweet smiles. I had heard about unresolved grief and guilt that occurs in pregnancy after previous losses. I never could understand feeling guilty until now. Why weren't these 2 children celebrated like the one that is moving and kicking within me now? It's not fair. It's not. They, too, were God's creation, fearfully and wonderfully made.

Oh, Lord, give me comfort that You are celebrating these precious little ones that went so quickly to be with you. They deserve to be loved and adored and delighted in. And I know that You delight in every one of your creations.

So, to Munchkin and Sweet Pea, I love you, I celebrate you and know someday we will meet. In the meantime, watch out for your little sibling and tell them to be good to Momma and Papa!

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