in memory and hope

Today, October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. In my everyday life of taking care of my sweet little girls, I can sometimes forget the pain we went through as we lost 2 babies early on in pregnancy. It was such a trying time for Jason and me. We each seemed to handle it differently and also separately. Looking back, I can understand how it was hard for Jason to truly grasp what it was to feel the loss. To him, those babies were just little spots on an ultrasound picture. I say that, but I know it had to be more than that for him. It was the hope of being a daddy and shepherding those sweet little babies to adulthood.

God is truly amazing and has completely healed me of the pain of that time. He has turned my mourning into dancing. Oh, God is good! For not only do I know that our 2 little babies are dancing in heaven with Jesus, but also our precious Lord took me through a priceless spiritual journey as we dealt with our pain. So, for me, it is a source of hope and inspiration and all good things!

But, it seems to mean a little more this year. I picked up the precious book, Heaven is for Real from the library. This book chronicles Colton Burpo's experience in heaven while in surgery. At the time he is only 3 years old, and his parents are unaware of his experience for a few months. Day by day, details emerge of what he's seen. It is an absolute amazing picture of what heaven will be someday, but what struck my heart chords the most was the revelation about his 2nd sister. See he only has one older sister on earth, Cassie. In between the birth of Cassie and him, his mother had a miscarriage. Colton was never aware of this fact. So, when he told his mom about his 2 sisters, she was shocked! For one thing, they never knew the gender of their baby they lost. Colton saw her in heaven and she hugged him real big (though he wasn't excited to hug a girl!) His mom inquired of her name, and Colton told her that she was never named because she died in her tummy. Colton reported though that she looked like her.

It gave me such hope and joy that we have 2 precious children in heaven!!! Yet another reason I simply can't wait to go to heaven. To know our 2 little ones are up there. And gosh, I hope they know we love them so much and can't wait to meet them!!! Praise God!