Friday, November 6, 2009

what do you do when

This blog has definitely been neglected. Maybe because it's hard for me nowadays to sit down and do one task for more than 10 minutes before thinking, "Wow, I better get a lot's naptime, you know!" However, I thought yesterday on our afternoon walk, I stumbled across an epiphany. I'm still trying to absorb it.

What do you do when you accomplish your dreams? Where do you go from there?

That's it. As I was walking, I pondered how before when I was working I really enjoyed my life. (Bear with me, my life doesn't get any better than it is now.) I realized I smiled more, laughed more. And this was all while trying to figure out when and how my dreams would come true.

Well, first there is, meet the love of your life. Check
Then, have a beautiful wedding. Check
Then, enjoy living with the one you love. Check
Then, build a house. Check
Then, have a child. Check

There you go...those are the things I dreamed of for so long. Of course, my dreams used to entail getting my professional license...well, that's what I told possible employers anyway. Now, not so much. Not to say I'll never go back to engineering. But for the first time in my life, I know without equivocation I am doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. I am a mama and I love it. I love to spend the day with my baby girl. I love to keep the house feeling like a home. I love to clean (yes, I actually do...most days, anyway). I love to cook meals for my husband who actually enjoys eating them. I love it all.

However, what I can't make sense of is, what do I dream next? I realize that dreams are a huge thing I'm missing from my life currently. The place where you are content, but you're still reaching for something. It makes you get out of bed just thinking about it.

And at the moment, I have no idea what my dreams are.

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