Thursday, May 7, 2009

2nd Mother's Day

I write this post with a joyful, yet heavy heart. Recently my mom mentioned I would be celebrating my first Mother's Day as a Mom. I agreed, but silently I dissented. Actually it's my second. I know many people will never know that I am a mom of 3...2 in heaven, 1 on earth. Sure, some may disagree that those little ones I carried for a short time are considered children. And to those, I would gracefully share the pain I felt (we felt) when they were taken away. I don't think I would hurt as much over them if they were just "tissue". These 2 crosses hang in our entry way, and they are always a reminder of the precious children we loved and lost.

Praise God, I don't hurt the way I did. He has graciously brought me to a place of healing and amazing joy. Our babies are safe in heaven, playing with Jesus. Can you get any better? And I can see how the Lord guided me on a path of growing faith, trust, joy, love, and hope. A sweet lady who is a social worker for Hospice shared with me how grief never goes changes, it transforms, it becomes part of your being. And I can see that in my life. Thankfully the Lord has turned my mourning into dancing. Our daughter is an amazing blessing.

I know too that for many women, Mother's Day is a tough day. Whether it be the loss of their mother, a child, or difficulty in becoming pregnant, I pray the Lord is abundantly present with them on this day. I truly believe a woman's (even more, a girl's) heart encompasses the hopes and desires of a mother...and to all those women who want nothing more than to have a child to hold, I celebrate you on Mother's Day. I pray the Lord quickly answers your prayers.

1 comment:

Becca said...

This is beautiful, Brandy. Thanks for sharing. I have been dreading Mother's Day again this year for exactly the reasons you mentioned. It has become a day to "get through" rather than celebrate, but I pray that will not always be the case! May your Mother's Day with Bella be full of joy, even as you miss your other two little ones.