After some desert experiences lately, I feel like I am coming to an oasis. And, wow is it refreshing! I have learned so much through it all and I witnessed and felt this powerful scripture played out in my life.
"Always be joyful. Keep on praying. No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." ~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
In the midst of my struggle to understand why God could allow the miscarriage to happen after Jason and I prayed so fervently for a child, I came to a reality I had to adopt into my core. It was 2-fold.
1. Always be thankful for everything. You may not understand why, and that's ok. Just choose to be thankful.
2. Praise God through all circumstances. The Lord takes us to new levels when we praise Him.
During the tough times, these were not easy things to do. But in all aspects of life, God gives us choices, and I choose to do it. Sure, I still questioned God, and I still got mad. But my spirit, when focused on the Lord, chose to be obedient to those 2 principles.
If you haven't read Corrie Ten Boom's book, The Hiding Place, I highly recommend it. I read it in college and one major principle from it has been planted in my heart since then. Quick background: Corrie and her family have been placed in a concentration camp and struggle everyday to stay faithful and stay alive. When they were taken to the Ravensbruck concentration camp during WWII, Corrie and her older sister Betsy found that their barracks were infested with lice. Betsy insisted that they thank God for the lice, since we are enjoined to give thanks for all things. Corrie struggled with that, but was obedient. The book goes on to tell how the sisters had an unusual freedom to read the Bible and pray in the barracks at night with the other inmates, in spite of the repressive practices of their Nazi guards. Corrie said, ‘The blacker the night around us grew, the brighter and truer and more beautiful burned the word of God.’ Why were they given such freedom? After a while they understood -- the lice! Another blessing in disguise.
Wow! Isn't that incredible?! God uses EVERYTHING, even the bad things to take care of us!
So in retrospect I see how God used the tough times...first of all with the miscarriage, I still don't know why it happened, but what I know is that God has strengthened my faith and has strengthened my marriage. I am a changed person because of it and I would not take that back.
Secondly regarding the Bermuda job, it was a tough time to say no and also to have my heart hurt by a woman with harsh words. And yet, I praise God for those hurtful words...as recently Jason was offered a job promotion that he's wanted! Had that woman not hurt me, there is a huge possibility we would be heading to Bermuda. In which case, Jason would have missed the opportunity he had wanted.
Looking back over the 2 months, I am so thankful for having an open heart to God. He filled my heart with a joy that only comes from Him. It's an incredible miracle that I can look back at these 2 months and feel love and provision from Him. It is so true that:
"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." ~Romans 8:28