It's hard to fathom it's been a year...a year since I had my last conversation with Dad. A year...seems like a lot happens in a year, and yet it feels like he has only been gone a week. I don't know that I'm processing it all very well. Does anyone ever process loss perfectly though? I don't know where I thought I'd be a year later,but I can't say this is it.
I don't know that it's sadness that I feel, because I have such a peace and joy of knowing exactly where Dad is...he's with the Big Dad, our true Father. He is restored to health. He is in complete joy. Seriously, what else could I want for him? And yet, I just feel bummed that I can't just chat with him. But just to know that my earthly dad is here.
There are things I like to do to remind myself of him. They may seem silly but they bring me comfort...whether it's making his yearly peanut/candy corn mix that was always so yummy. Or decluttering...Dad would be proud I know! Or saving that special carrot cake recipe. Or going for a run. Or smiling about Jason wearing my dad's hat. It's good to remind myself of him. I miss him.
